[Rockabilly song]
CLARENCE: ln Jailhouse Rock, he was everything rockabilly is about.
l mean he is rockabilly:
Mean, surly, nasty, rude.
ln that movie, he couldn't give a fuck about nothin'.
Except rocking and rolling, living fast, dying young...
...and leaving a good-looking corpse.
l watch that hillbilly and l want to be him so bad.
Elvis looked good.
Hey, l'm no fag. But Elvis was prettier than most women.
You know? Most women.
You know l always said, if l had to fuck a guy. l mean had to...
...and my life depended on it...
...l'd fuck Elvis.
l'd fuck Elvis.
CLARENCE: Really?
Well, when he was alive, not now.
l don't blame you.
So, we'd both fuck Elvis.
CLARENCE: lt's nice to meet people with common interests, ain't it?
Well, enough about the King. How about you?
How about me what?
How about you go to the movies with me tonight?
What are we gonna see?
A Sonny Chiba triple feature.
The Street Fighter, Return of the Street Fighter...
...and Sister Street Fighter.
Who's Sonny Chiba?
CLARENCE: ''Who's Sonny Chiba?''
Well, he is, bar none, the finest actor working in martial arts movies today.
You want to take me to a kung fu movie?
Three kung fu movies.
l don't think so.
Not really my cup of tea.
All right.
[Soft rhythmic music]
ALABAMA: l had to come all the way from the highways and byways...
...of Tallahassee, Florida...
...to Motor City, Detroit to find my true love.
lf you gave me a million years to ponder...
...l would never have guessed that true romance and Detroit would go together.
And to this day, the events that followed all seem like a distant dream.
But the dream was real...
...and was to change our lives forever.
[Sirens blare]
ALABAMA: l kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing...
...and everything was so shitty.
And he'd say:
''That's the way it goes. But don't forget...
''...it goes the other way, too. ''
That's the way romance is.
Usually that's the way it goes.
But every once in a while, it goes the other way, too.
My heart beats and there is time.
[Grunting]
FlGHTER: Don't move, Tojo.
You'll be unconscious soon....
lt's an ancient technique.
Oxygen.
Come.
ALABAMA: Oh, look what happened! Oh, God, l am so sorry.
-Are you okay? -Yeah, l'm fine.
Oh, Jesus, l am the clumsiest person in the world.
That's all right. Accidents happen.
What a wonderful philosophy. Thanks for being a sweetheart.
Because you could have been a real dick.
FlGHTER: Come on! Ready?
Larry, where are we going?
[Thunder roars]
OPPONENT: Look, we don't know what will be coming next.
You mean you're scared?
Hey, laundromat clothes!
You mind if l smoke?
No.
Listen, do you mind filling me in on what l missed?
No, no.
See this, that guy up there? lt's Sonny Chiba.
ALABAMA: The Oriental?
CLARENCE: Yeah, the one in black.
You want a Goober?
Yeah. See, in the beginning of the movie he was hired to get this guy.
ALABAMA: You have got popcorn all over you.
CLARENCE: Thanks. Thanks a lot.
ALABAMA: ls he supposed to be a good guy?
He ain't so much a good guy as he's just a bad motherfucker.
l mean, he gets paid by people to fuck guys up. You know.
You came to see three kung fu movies?
ALABAMA: Sure, why not?
Nothing, nothing. You're a girl after my own heart. That's all.
Do you know what time it is?
lt's about 12:00.
l suppose you've got to get up early, huh?
No, not particularly, how come?
lt's just, after a movie, l like to go get some pie...
...and talk about it.
lt's sort of a little tradition l have.
Do you like to get pie after you see a good movie?
Yeah, l love to get pie after a movie.
Would you like to go get some pie with me?
l'd love some pie.
[Soft rock song]
CLARENCE: ln that movie, he couldn't give a fuck about nothin'.
Except rock-and-roll, living fast, dying young...
...and leaving a good-looking corpse.
Enough about the King. How about you?
How about me what?
Well, tell me about yourself.
What do you want to know?
CLARENCE: Well, for starters, what do you do? Where are you from?
What's your favorite color? Who's your favorite movie star?
What kind of music do you like?
What are your turn-ons, your turnoffs?
l guess the big question is, do you have a fella?
Okay, ask me again, one by one.
What do you do?
l don't remember.
-Where are you from? -l don't know.
-What's your favorite color? -l don't know. Black?
-Well, who's your favorite movie star? -Burt Reynolds.
Do you want a bite of my pie?
Yes, l would. A little one.
All right.
CLARENCE: You all right? lt's good. You like it?
What kind of music do you like?
ALABAMA: Phil Spector. Girl-group stuff like, He's A Rebel.
What are your turn-ons?
Mickey Rourke, a man who can appreciate the finer things in life, like sugar.
[Alabama laughs]
Elvis' voice, kung fu, pie.
Turnoffs?
Turnoffs.
Persians.
Do you have a fella?
Ask me that one a little bit later.
ln a theater full of empty seats, why did you sit by me?
Because you looked like a nice guy.
So l had to dump my popcorn all over you.
l'll get the check. Where to next?
ALABAMA: Can l peek?
Now don't peek. Keep your eyes shut.
All right, l am turning the lights on. Okay, open them.
ALABAMA: Oh, wow!
Wow, what a swell place to work!
Yeah, it's cool. l got the keys...
...so l just come in, you know, read comics, play music.
You worked here a long time?
CLARENCE: Almost four years.
That is a long time.
CLARENCE: Yeah, but it's not so bad.
l'm pretty friendly with most of the customers.
So l just hang out, bullshit, read comic books.
You get paid a lot?
No, that's where the trouble comes into paradise.
The boss is a pretty nice guy.
He lets you borrow money from time to time, if you need it.
You want to see what Spiderman No. 1 looks like?
You bet.
CLARENCE: Just great stories, great characters, beautiful artwork.
See, in this one, Nick, he's gotten this ring here...
...for his sweetheart and he wears it around his neck on a chain.
And later on in the story, he gets in this fight with this Nazi bastard.
And the Kraut grabs hold of the chain.
Well, the ring goes overboard.
Nick, he dives into the ocean to get it.
lsn't that cool?
[Soft rock song]
[Sirens blare in distance]
[Dog barks]
What is it? You're crying? What did l do? Did l do something?
You didn't do nothing.
What is it?
l have something l got to tell you.
l didn't just happen to be at that theater. l was paid to be there.
CLARENCE: lf you were paid to be there, what are you? A theater-checker?
You get paid to check the box-office girls aren't ripping the place off?.
l'm no theater-checker. l'm a call girl.
You're a whore?
No! l'm a call girl, and there is a difference, you know!
ALABAMA: Okay, here it goes. You know the place you took me to last night?
The place you work.
Heroes for Sale?
You got a boss, right?
Yeah.
Okay, what's his name?
Lance.
That's him. He called the place where l work.
He ordered a girl. He wanted you to get laid.
Said you didn't get out much, and it was your birthday and all.
He wanted me to act like l just showed up.
How did he know you were going to be at that theater?
l go to the movies every year on my birthday.
He called me this week to find out what my birthday movie was going to be.
You're not mad?
No, man. l can't tell you....
That was one of the best times l ever had.
lt was. You know, l knew something must be rotten in Denmark.
There's no way you could like me that much.
l was so relieved when you took off your dress...
...and didn't have a dick.
Stop being so fucking calm about all this!
Look in your house. There's a note on your TV.
lt only says ''Dear Clarence,'' because l couldn't write anymore.
So l just said, ''Alabama, come clean.
''Just tell him what's what. lf he tells you...
''...to go back to Drexl and fuck yourself...
''...then go back to Drexl and fuck yourself.''
Drexl? What's a Drexl?
Please shut up! l'm trying to come clean.
l've been a call girl for exactly four days and you are my third customer.
l want you to know that l am not damaged goods.
l'm not what they call in Florida white trash!
l'm a really good person.
And when it comes to relationships...
...l am 100 percent.
l am 100 percent monogamous.
You stay with one guy?
Exactly. lf l'm with you, then l'm with you.
And l don't want anybody else.
[Soft rhythmic music]
Now, l got to tell you something else.
When you said last night was one of the best times you've had...
...did you mean physically?
Yeah, yeah. But l'm talking about the whole night.
l never had as much fun with a girl as l had with you, my whole life.
lt's true. You like Elvis. You like Janis...
...you like kung fu movies. You like The Partridge Family....
[Laughs] Actually, l don't like The Partridge Family.
That was part of the act.
And l feel really goofy saying this...
...after only knowing you one night, and me being a call girl and all....
But l think l love you.
Wait a second.
Look, l've been trying to keep this whole thing in perspective.
You just said you loved me. lf l say l love you, throw caution to the wind...
...let the chips fall as they may, and you're lying, l'll fucking die.
l'm not lying to you. And l swear from this moment forth...
...l will never lie to you again.
[Alabama giggles]
Well, hello, Mrs. Worley.
How do you do, Mr. Worley.
CLARENCE: Top of the morning to you, Mrs. Worley.
ALABAMA: Bottom of the ninth, Mr. Worley.
By the way, have you seen your lovely wife today?
My beautiful, charming, sexy wife...
...Mrs. Alabama Worley?
Are there any others, Mr. Worley?
No, not for me, no.
ALABAMA: No. No. CLARENCE: Yes, yes.
[Rock song]
ALABAMA: Excuse me. Do you think you could turn down the heat just a teeny bit?
l must ask you a question.
Who and what is a Drexl?
[Alabama shushes]
CLARENCE: Huh?
[Whispers] He was my pimp.
CLARENCE: You had a pimp?
l was a call girl.
Call girls have pimps.
Was he black?
He thinks he is. He said his mama was an Apache but l suspect he's lying.
ls he nice?
[Alabama laughs]
l wouldn't go so far as to say that. He treated me pretty decent.
l was only there for four days. He got a little bit rough the other day.
-What do you mean? With you? -No, with my friend llene.
What did he do to llene?
Slapped her around. Kicked her in the stomach.
lt was scary.
CLARENCE: This motherfucker sounds beautiful.
What did you do to end up with a son of a bitch like that?
BlG D.: What are you talking about?
DREXL: Floyd say he don't be eating pussy.
BlG D.: Drexl, any nigger says he don't eat pussy's lying his ass off.
l heard that.
FLOYD: Hold on a second. Big D., you saying you eat pussy?
Yeah, motherfucker, l eat the pussy, l eat the bud.
l eat every fucking thing.
lf l ever did eat any pussy, l would never eat any pussy, right?
But if l did eat some pussy...
...l sure as hell wouldn't tell no goddamn body.
-l'd be ashamed as a motherfucker. -Shit, nigger, you smoke enough sherm...
...your dumb ass would do a lot of motherfucking things.
You'd be up in there suckin' niggers' dicks!
[All laugh]
Fuck you guys, man. You guys are fucked up, all right?
DREXL: Hey. Wait a second. We's just fucking with you.
DREXL: ln fact, l'm going to show you what l mean with a little demonstration.
Toss me the burner.
[Sirens blare in distance]
All right, dig this.
Pretend it's that fine centerfold bitch.
You know what l'm saying? And you are you.
[Alabama imitates sounds from movie]
ALABAMA: Honey, where you going? CLARENCE: Bathroom.
[Alabama hums]
[Mentor sings]
MENTOR: Well, can you live with it? CLARENCE: What?
MENTOR: l said, can you live with it?
Live with what?
MENTOR: That son of a bitch walking around breathing the same air as you.
Getting away with it every day.
Are you haunted?
Yeah.
MENTOR: You want to get un-haunted?
Oh, yeah.
MENTOR: Well, l'd kill him.
Shoot him in the face. Put him down like a dog.
l can't believe what you're saying.
MENTOR: l'm not saying nothing. l's just saying what l'd do.
You'd do that?
MENTOR: The fuck don't deserve to live.
Look, he's haunting me, you know.
l want to kill him, but l don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail.
MENTOR: Hey man, l don't blame you.
lf l thought l'd get away with it....
MENTOR: Get away with it?
Killing is the hard part. Getting away with it, that's easy.
You think a cop gives a fuck about a pimp?
Listen. Every pimp in the world could get shot.
Two in the back of the fucking head. Cops would throw a party, man.
[Dramatic instrumental music]
As long as you're not at the scene of the crime...
...with a smoking gun in your hand, you'll get away with it.
Clarence, l like you.
Always have, always will.
[Clarence breathes heavily]
[Sirens blare in distance]
'Bama.
Where you going?
CLARENCE: l need you to write down your former address.
Why?
So l can go over there and pick up your stuff, that's why.
Oh, baby, come on, Clarence. l just want to disappear from there.
l know this scares the shit out of you, but l'm not scared of that motherfucker.
You are completely out of his reach. He poses absolutely no threat to you.
lf he doesn't matter, and he doesn't...
...then it seems silly you lose all your things now.
ALABAMA: Listen.
You don't know him.
No, you don't know me. Not when it comes to shit like this.
l need to do this.
l want you to know that you can count on me to protect you.
Come on, please just write it down.
This isn't a good idea.
l'm telling you, it'll be fine.
l'll be in and out of there.
ALABAMA: Be careful. CLARENCE: l will.
l love you.
CLARENCE: l love you, too.
[Alabama moans]
[Soft rhythmic music]
[Fast-paced dance music]
You want something?
Yeah, you Drexl?
No man, l'm Marty.
Well, l want to talk to Drexl.
Well, what the fuck you want to talk to him about?
lt's about Alabama.
[Loud dance music continues]
MARTY: He was asking about Alabama.
Where the fuck is that bitch?
She's with me.
Who the fuck are you?
l'm her husband.
Well, that makes us practically related.
Have a seat, boy.
Have an egg roll. We got everything here...
...from ''Little-Eye Joel'' to ''Damned if l know.''
No, thanks.
No, thanks? What that mean?
l think you're too scared to be eating.
Now, see....
We're sitting down here, ready to negotiate.
And you've already given up your shit.
l'm still a mystery to you.
But l know exactly where your white ass is coming from.
lf l ask you if you want some dinner and you grab an egg roll...
...l say, he's acting like he ain't got a care in the world.
And who knows? Maybe he don't.
Maybe this fool is such a bad motherfucker...
...he don't have to worry about nothing. He just sits down...
...and watches my motherfucking TV.
See?
You haven't even sat down yet.
That TV over there, since you've been here...
...has a woman with her breasts just hanging out.
Well, you haven't even bothered to look.
You just been clocking me.
Now, l know l'm pretty. But l'm not as pretty as a couple of titties.
DREXL: This child be fierce.
[Drexl chuckles]
l'm not eating because l'm not hungry.
l'm not sitting because l'm not staying.
l'm not looking at the movie because l've already seen it seven years ago.
lt is The Mack.
Max Julian, Carol Speed and Richard Pryor.
l'm not scared of you. l just don't like you.
That's payoff money. Alabama is moving on to greener pastures.
We're not negotiating, l don't like to barter.
What's in there is for my peace of mind.
My peace of mind is worth that much. Not one penny more.
lt's empty.
Marty, you know what we got here? A motherfucking Charlie Bronson.
''Mr. Majestyk?''
Look here, Charlie.
None of this bullshit is necessary.
l don't got no hold over Alabama.
l was just trying to lend a girl a helping hand.
DREXL: That's what you get.
DREXL: You fuck with me, white boy!
Look at this! You fond of my motherfucking freaks?
Shit! You motherfucker!
Your ass got to be crazy!
[Drexl gasping]
You must have thought it was white-boy day.
lt ain't white-boy day, is it?
MARTY: No man, it ain't white-boy day.
DREXL: Shit man, you done fucked up again.
Well, well, well.
Look what we got here.
DREXL: Clarence Worley?
DREXL: lt sounds almost like a nigger name.
DREXL: And l know where you live.
DREXL: 4900, 160th Street...
...Apartment 48.
And l would make $1 million bet that Alabama is at the same address.
Marty, take the car, go get her. Bring her dumb ass back here.
l think l'll keep lover boy here entertained.
Hey, Marty!
DREXL: What the fuck are you doing?
MARTY: l can't find my jacket! DREXL: Go look in the fucking hamper.
[Gunshots]
[Fast-paced dance music]
You!
Get a bag and put Alabama's things in it. You want to get fucking shot?
Get a bag and put Alabama's things in it!
l just did you the biggest fucking favor of your life!
Open your eyes.
l said open your fucking eyes!
CLARENCE: You thought it was fucking funny. Didn't you?
Fuck you! You piece of shit!
Don't fucking move!
l was selfish. l know l was selfish. l was, but...
...l was carrying your child, babe.
l killed him.
Want a hamburger or something? l'm starving to death.
ls this a joke?
No joke.
That was the best fucking hamburger l ever had in my life.
l've never had a hamburger taste this good.
Come on, eat something, you'll feel better.
[Alabama sobs]
What the fuck you crying for?
He's not worth one of your tears. Would you rather it have been me?
ls that it? ls that what you want? l mean, do you love him?
Do you love him?
l said, do you fucking love him?
-l think what you did was-- -What?
-l think what you did... -What?
...was so romantic.
[Slow instrumental music]
Oh, baby, you're bleeding.
CLARENCE: l got your things right here.
Clean clothes.
l love you.
l love you. There is a God.
These aren't my clothes.
[Soft country music]
CLlFF: Rommel, where are you? Come on, get in here. Get in here now.
Good morning, Daddy.
CLARENCE: Hey, Rommel.
Long time no see, huh?
CLlFF: Now you're going to have to excuse the place.
l haven't exactly been doing a lot of entertaining...
...of company as of late.
l'm sorry if l seem a little tense.
But you're the last person in the world that l expected to see this morning.
CLARENCE: Well, that's okay, Daddy, l tend to have that effect on people.
You got anything to drink around here? l'm dying of thirst.
CLlFF: Now there should be, there should be a Seven-Up in there.
CLARENCE: Anything stronger?
Probably not. Beer. You can drink beer, can't you?
CLlFF: l can, but l don't.
That's about all l ever eat.
Excuse me.
CLlFF: Hello, hello, hello.
l'm his father.
Well, that's all right. l'm his wife, Alabama Worley. Pleased to meet you.
We got married.
[Alabama laughs]
Lover, why don't you be a sport and go get us some beer?
You want some beer?
lf you want some, it'll be here. Okay?
Where is a liquor store around here?
CLlFF: There is a party store down 54th Street.
Get a six-pack of something imported.
Hard to tell you what to get. Different places have different things.
Here, that should cover it, okee-dokee?
ALABAMA: Okee-dokee, Doggy Daddy.
Ain't she the sweetest goddamn thing you ever saw in your whole life?
l mean, is she a four-alarm fire, or what?
She seems very nice.
Nice?
Daddy, ''nice'' is not the word. l mean this girl, she's a peach.
You know, she even tastes like a peach.
You can tell l'm in love with her, can't you?
No, wait. l gotta talk.
CLlFF: Sit down, shut up.
You give me a fucking headache.
You are so much like your mother, l can't believe it.
You are your fucking mother, through and through.
l haven't heard from you in three years.
You show up all of a sudden, at 8:00 in the morning...
...you walk in here like a goddamned bulldozer.
Now don't get me wrong. l love you, l'm glad to see you.
But slow it down, man.
All right?
Now.
When did you get married?
Well, Daddy....
l'm in big fucking trouble.
l really need your help.
No, no, stop talking.
-What do you want from me? -What?
What do you want from me? Stop acting like an infant!
You're here because you want me to help you.
What do you need from me? You need money?
No. You still have friends on the force?
Yes, l still have friends on the force.
Could you find out if they know about us?
l don't think they know shit. But l want to know for sure.
You can do that. Right?
What makes you think l could do that?
Because you were a cop.
But what makes you think that l would do that?
Because l'm your son.
Oh, you're my son.
Oh, you got it all worked out, don't you?
Look. l mean, goddamn, l've never asked you for a goddamn thing.
Jesus fucking Christ! After Mom divorced you...
...did l ever ask you for anything? No. l didn't.
When l wouldn't see you for one or two years...
...did l ever get into your shit?
The whole time you were drunk, did l get mad...
...point my finger?
No! l never did. Everybody else did, but l didn't!
Now look, l just need help, and you can fucking help me. All right?
Now, l'm basically a resourceful guy. lf l didn't really need it, l wouldn't ask.
l mean, if you want to say no, then fine.
Forget it, don't worry about it. No problem, l'm gone, all right?
[Slow instrumental music]
[Car horn blows]
The Virgin is back!
Thank God. l could eat a horse.
l didn't get you any chicken.
Well, how come?
Honey, it's too early in the morning. lt's only 9:00.
Son of a bitch!
Dick Richie! Dick Richie!
That's me, l'm me.
Come inside.
Okay.
Sit. Sit, sit.
Now.
MARY: The part you'll be reading is one of the bad guys.
There's Brian and Marty.
Who?
ls there a problem?
No.
Peter Breck has been cast in the part of Brian.
So, you'll be reading for the role of Marty.
ln this scene, you're both in a car, and Bill Shatner's hanging on the hood.
What you want to do is get him off.
All right, l'm Marty.
Ready?
l'm driving.
Okay.
''Where the fuck did he come from?''
MARY: ''l don't know, he just appeared like magic.''
DlCK: ''Well, don't just sit there, shoot him! ''
''Get him! ''
MARY: Thank you, Mr. Richie.
l'm very impressed. You're a very fine actor.
Thank you.
We'll let you know.
Okay.
ALABAMA: Okay, one-handed. CLARENCE: One hand.
CLARENCE: Good, try on the other one there.
Here comes the train.
Well, they found nothing. ln fact, they think it's drug related.
Drug related? Why drug related?
Well, apparently Drexl had his big toe stuck in that shit.
Really?
Drexl had an association with a fellow named Blue Lou Boyle.
-Name mean anything to you? -No.
lf you don't hang around his circle, it shouldn't.
Who is he?
Gangster, drug dealer. You don't want him on your ass.
Now look, Clarence, the more l hear about this Drexl fucker...
...the more l think you did the right thing. This guy was not just some wild flake.
That's what l was trying to tell you before. The guy was like a mad dog.
So, the cops, they don't think.... They're not after us?
No. Until they hear something better.
They will just assume Drexl had a falling out with Blue Lou.
And once you leave town, l wouldn't even worry about it.
Thanks, thanks a lot, Daddy. You really came through for me.
[Soft rhythmic music]
l got some money l could give you.
No, keep it. Keep it.
Well now, son.
l want you to know that...
...l hope everything works out with you and Alabama.
l like her.
And l think you make a real cute couple.
Yeah, well, you stay out of trouble.
You got a wife to think about now.
Quit fucking around.
Son...
...l love you.
All right.
This is my friend Dick Richie's number and address in Hollywood.
That's where we'll be.
All right.
CLARENCE: Come on, Alabama. We're taking off. Kiss Pops goodbye.
'Bye, Daddy. Hope to see you again soon.
Hey, hey!
What kind of smackaroo is that?
[Cliff laughs]
l'll send you a postcard from Hollywood.
Alabama.
Yes, sir?
Take care of him for me.
Don't worry, Daddy. l'll keep him on a short leash.
CLARENCE: As the sun sets slowly in the west, we bid you a fine farewell.
Son of a bitch was right. She tastes like a peach.
Come on, Rommel.
Come on, boy.
[Soft rhythmic music intensifies]
[Phone rings]
Hello.
[Distorted voice] Hello, baby!
Clarence?
You got it!
lt's great to hear from you, what's going on?
Well, you're going to be seeing me shortly.
You're coming to LA! When?
CLARENCE: Tomorrow.
There's a story behind all that.
By the way, l won't be alone. l'm bringing my lovely wife.
Get the fuck out of here. Clarence, you got married?
l'm a married man, buddy.
CLARENCE: You want to say hello to my better half?. Come here.
Hi, Dick. This is Alabama Worley.
How you doing, Alabama Worley?
Clarence told me about you. He said you're his best friend.
-So, that makes you my best friend, too. -Tell him we got to go.
ALABAMA: Clarence says we got to go.
Wait, can l speak to Clarence?
-Ask him if he got it. -Did you get the letter?
What letter?
-What letter? -Letters.
l didn't get any letter.
Has he gotten his mail yet?
ALABAMA: Have you gotten your mail? DlCK: No, my roommate, Floyd....
-Has he looked through it? -Have you looked through it?
No.
Tell him to go look through it.
ALABAMA: Go and look through it.
Wait, wait, wait. Can l speak to Clarence, please?
He wants to talk to you.
Tell him we got to go. Tell him, ''Read the letter.''
Read the letter.
CLARENCE: Tell him l love him and that as of tomorrow....
ALABAMA: Honey, hold this.
ALABAMA: As of tomorrow...
...all your money problems gonna be over.
Hello? What money problems?
ALABAMA: Bye-bye.
Hello?
[Rock song]
DlCK: Floyd!
Floyd, you used up the last piece of toilet paper.
CLlFF: Hey! Rommel!
Hey, come here! Rommel!
[Train horn blows]
COCCOTTl: Frankie.
Tell Luca to go outside and do you know what.
[Frankie repeats orders in ltalian]
Do you know who l am, Mr. Worley?
l give up. Who are you?
The antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.
You can tell the angels...
...you never saw evil so singularly personified...
...as in the face of the man who killed you.
My name is Vincent Coccotti. l work as counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle.
The man your son stole from.
l hear you were once a cop, so l can assume you have heard of us before.
Am l correct?
l've heard of Blue Lou Boyle.
l'm glad. Hopefully that will clear up the how-full-of-shit-am-l question...
...you been asking yourself.
We're going to have a little Q and A.
And at the risk of sounding redundant, please...
...make your answers genuine.
Want a Chesterfield?
No.
l have a son of my own, about your boy's age.
l can imagine how painful this must be for you.
But Clarence...
...and his bitch of a girlfriend brought this on themselves.
l implore you not to go down that road with them.
You could always take comfort in the fact you never had a choice.
l'd like to help you if l could...
...but l haven't seen Clarence.
COCCOTTl: You see that?
[Cliff groans]
COCCOTTl: That smarts, doesn't it? To get slammed in the nose.
Fucks you up. You get the pain shooting through your brain...
...your eyes fill up with water.
lt's not any kind of fun.
But what l have to offer you, that's as good as it's going to get.
And it won't ever get that good again.
We talked to your neighbors. They saw a Cadillac.
Purple Cadillac.
Clarence's purple Cadillac, parked in front of your trailer yesterday.
Mr. Worley.
Have you seen your son?
l've seen him.
COCCOTTl: l can't be sure of how much he told you.
ln the chance you're in the dark about some of this...
...let me shed some light. That whore your boy hangs around with...
...her pimp is an associate of mine.
Along with other affairs, he works for me in a courier capacity.
Well, apparently...
...that dirty whore found out we were going to do some business...
...because your son, the cowboy and his flame, came into the room blazing...
...and didn't stop until they were pretty sure everybody was dead.
What are you talking about?
COCCOTTl: l'm talking about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics.
Hightailed it out of there. Would have got away with it.
But your son, fuckhead that he is...
...left his driver's license in the dead guy's hand.
CLlFF: You know...
...l don't believe you.
COCCOTTl: That's of minor importance.
What's of major fucking importance is that l believe you.
Where did they go?
On their honeymoon.
l'm getting angry asking the same question a second time.
Where did they go?
They didn't tell me. Now wait a minute and listen to me.
l haven't seen Clarence in three years.
He shows up yesterday...
...with a young girl, saying that he got married.
He asked for some quick cash...
...to go on a honeymoon. He asked me if he could borrow $500.
l felt like helping him.
So, l wrote him out a check. We went to breakfast in the morning.
And that's the last l saw of him...
...so help me God.
They never thought to tell me where they were going.
And l never thought to ask.
[Cliff screams]
[ln ltalian] Vincenzo, sir.
There's nothing there.
That's not good.
COCCOTTl: You know...
...Sicilians are great liars.
The best in the world.
l'm Sicilian...
...my father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars.
From growing up with him, l learned the pantomime.
There are 1 7 different things a guy can do when he lies...
...to give himself away. A guy has got 1 7 pantomimes.
Woman has got 20. Guy has got 1 7. But...
...if you know them, like you know your own face...
...they would beat lie detectors all to hell.
Now what we got here is a game of ''Show and Tell.''
You don't want to show me nothing. But you're telling me everything.
l know you know where they are. So, tell me...
...before l do some damage you won't walk away from.
Could l have one of those Chesterfields now?
Sure.
You got a...
...match? No wait. Don't bother, l got one.
[Soft instrumental music]
You're Sicilian, huh?
Yeah, Sicilian.
You know...
...l read a lot.
Especially things about history.
l find that shit fascinating.
Here's a fact, whether you know it or not.
Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Come again?
[Coccotti laughs]
CLlFF: lt's a fact. Yeah. You see...
...Sicilians have black blood pumping through their hearts.
And if you don't believe me, you can look it up.
Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, you see:::
...the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers.
You see, way back then...
...Sicilians were like wops from northern ltaly.
They all had blond hair and blue eyes.
But, well....
Then the Moors moved in there...
...they changed the whole country.
They did so much fucking with Sicilian women.
That they changed the whole bloodline forever.
That is why blond hair and blue eyes...
...became black hair and dark skin.
You know, it's absolutely amazing to me...
...to think that to this day...
...hundreds of years later...
...that Sicilians...
...still carry that nigger gene.
Now this....
CLlFF: No, l am quoting history.
[Coccotti laughs]
CLlFF: lt's written, it's a fact. lt's written.
l love this guy!
[Female voice sings opera]
CLlFF: Your ancestors are niggers.
Hey!
CLlFF: And your great, great, great...
...great grandmother fucked a nigger.
And she had a half-nigger kid. Now...
...if that is a fact, tell me?
Am l lying?
'Cause you...
...you are part eggplant.
[Coccotti and Cliff laugh loudly]
Egg! Egg! Egg!
You are a cantaloupe.
That was beautiful.
[Gunshots]
l haven't killed anybody...
...since 1984.
Go to this comedian's son's apartment.
Come back with something that tells me where that asshole went.
So l can wipe this egg off my face.
[ln ltalian]
Fix this fucked-up family for good.
FRANKlE: Hey, Boss.
Get ready to be happy.
RADlO ANNOUNCER: 'Morning, everybody. lt's 6:22 here in LA.
l'm David Perry at KBLU.
[Rock song plays on radio]
[Banging on door]
ALABAMA: Hello?
DlCK: Floyd.
DlCK: Can't you answer the door, at least, for me?
FLOYD: Oh, man, l didn't even hear it.
ALABAMA: Hello?
DlCK: Can't you help me every now and then?
FLOYD: Yes.
-You call for a date? -Huh?
[Clarence screams]
l knew it was you!
CLARENCE: Dick, this is Alabama. Alabama, this is Dick.
DlCK: Nice to meet you!
CLARENCE: How long you been here? ALABAMA: l'm Alabama.
DlCK: You look good! CLARENCE: This is a great place.
l'm starving. Let's get something to eat.
CLARENCE: Who's this? DlCK: This is Floyd.
CLARENCE: Let's go! Come on!
Hey.
Hey. l didn't tell you guys yet?
l had this really, really good audition for T.J. Hooker the other day.
You're going to be on T.J. Hooker?
DlCK: Yeah, the new T.J. Hooker.
Knock on wood.
-You get to meet Captain Kirk? -You don't meet him in the audition...
...but if l get the part, hope, hope....
-That would be amazing. -lt'd be cool....
Meeting Captain Kirk, that would be cool.
CLARENCE: Here we are.
CLARENCE: The honeymoon suite.
You're really in love, aren't you?
For the very first time in my life. Know what that's like?
No.
DlCK: Shut the fuck up.
What are you doing in LA anyway, huh?
Holy Mary, Mother of God. This shit can't be real.
-lt'll get you high. -What?
l said, it'll get you high.
ALABAMA: Hey, we got cable.
Want some wine, sweetheart?
ALABAMA: Yeah, just a little bit, l'm not much of a wine gal.
That stuff is fucking real.
This is fucking real, Clarence.
l certainly hope so.
DlCK: You've got a hell of a lot of cocaine here, man.
l know.
Do you realize how much coke you have?
CLARENCE: No, tell me.
l don't know, but it's a fucking lot!
DlCK: This is Drexl's coke.
No, Drexl is dead, you see. lt's Clarence's coke.
And he can do whatever he wants with it. What Clarence wants to do is to sell it.
Then, we'll jump on a plane and spend the rest of our lives spending it.
CLARENCE: You got my letter? You lined up a buyer for me?
l'm not Joe Cocaine, okay?
CLARENCE: You're an actor.
l hear these Hollywood guys get it delivered to the set.
Well, they do. All right? They do.
Maybe one day, when l'm a successful actor...
...l'll be like one of them.
But, until that day, l don't have anything. All right?
l don't have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out.
All l got is fucking Floyd.
lf you want me to help you sell a bit at a time that's all l can do.
No. None of that bit-at-a-time shit.
lt's got to be the whole enchilada in one shot.
Clarence, do you have any idea how difficult that'll be?
What the fuck are you talking about?
l'm offering $500,000 worth of white for $200,000. That'll be difficult?
Very difficult. That's very difficult, understand? Listen.
lt's difficult because you're selling to a particular group, understand?
Fat cats, big shots. Guys who can afford $200,000.
Guys who can use a whole suitcase full of cocaine.
Basically, Clarence, guys l don't know.
DlCK: And guys you don't know. And more importantly, they don't know you.
Come on, Dick.
[Siren blares in distance]
Okay, Clarence.
Listen.
There's one guy that l know...
...that can help you out, Clarence, but...
...l'm not guaranteeing you anything.
ls he big-league?
He's not big-league. Okay?
But he works as an assistant to a very big movie producer named Lee Donowitz.
Lee Donowitz could afford...
...and can use, $200,000-worth of coke.
Being that that's what you have.
All right, so what did you tell him?
DlCK: What the fuck do you expect me to tell him?
l didn't know what was bullshit and what wasn't.
And besides, Floyd smoked the second page of the letter. Okay?
CLARENCE: What's this acting-class guy's name?
Elliot.
Elliot what?
Elliot Blitzer.
We'll get him on the phone and arrange a meeting...
...so we can get through all this getting-to-know-you stuff, all right?
Where?
CLARENCE: Where should we meet?
Roller coaster.
Roller coasters.
So, you have $500,000-worth of cola that you are unloading for $200,000.
You want an animal cracker?
Thanks.
Wait, save the gorillas.
Thanks.
So, you got...
...$500,000-worth of cola...
...that you're unloading for $200,000.
''Unloading.'' That's a hell of a way to describe a bargain of a lifetime.
-Where did you get it? -Where did l get it?
l grow it on my windowsill. The light is really good there.
l'm up high enough off the street so, you know, you can't see it.
lt works perfectly.
ELLlOT: Yeah.
Where, really, where does it come from?
Where does it come from?
Coco leaves.
You're sick. l'm out of here.
Elliot, chill out.
CLARENCE: Come on, sit down here. All right?
We're here, so let's enjoy the ride.
l'll tell you. You have to promise you'll keep it quiet.
lf Dick hadn't told me you're good people, l'd say it's none of your business.
This is going to be fun.
Let's go!
CLARENCE: The truth is this: l got a friend in the department.
What department?
What do you think, eight ball?
The police department?
Give the man a prize! About a year and a half ago...
...my friend got access to the evidence room.
He snagged this coke, but he's a good cop with a family.
He had it for a year and a half 'til he found a guy he could trust.
And he trusts you?
He trusts me, we were in 4-H together. We've known each other since childhood.
l handle sales, he's my silent partner.
He knows, if l get fucked up, l won't drop dime on him.
Okay? No further, you understand?
He's kind of paranoid, l didn't tell you nothing.
-You didn't hear anything. -l didn't hear anything.
All right! Here we go!
[Screaming]
Ride it out, baby!
[Elliot groans]
Yeah!
We're going in for another one! Hang on, Elliot!
[Elliot groans]
Oh, yeah, we got this puppy. This was a good idea.